The New York Times abruptly realized this weekend that Hunter Biden is ironically (and also not ironically) an icon — despite the first son obviously being the coolest (only cool) person in the Democratic Party for years.
The New York Times, a paper staffed by valedictorians-turned-hectoring-journos, published a story on Sunday headlined “Hunter Biden, Ironic Icon,” in which they critically examine how Hunter Biden is “super cool.”
At Breitbart, we have long stanned the Biden scion for his status as a “fully realized” American, as he is referred to in Editor-in-Chief Alex Marlow’s new best-seller Breaking Biden. All Hunter Biden mostly does is get wasted and do lines, usually with multiple women hanging out, paid for by random oligarchs whom he gets on the hook for millions of dollars, and never goes to jail for any of it. Genius, and also, chill, as we have long said.
The Times listened to a podcast recorded by “fellow party boy” bros where they learned:
“His lifestyle is super cool because he gets to do all the coke and crack he wants,” said one of the hosts on a recent episode of “Wet Jeans,” a lad-culture podcast. “And he gets to live in a home in like, Calabasas,” referring to the gilded enclave north of Los Angeles.
“He’s using taxpayer money to like, fund hookers and his ketamine habit,” his co-host responded, excitedly. “I was thinking about it and I was like dude, I really … love this guy.”
They made sure to throw in a fact-check, for good measure, pointing out: actually, Hunter lives in Malibu, a much nicer neighborhood than Calabasas, and actually, he only has secret service detail on the public dime but doesn’t pay for hookers and coke with it, and actually, he totally, definitely doesn’t do drugs now — a paragraph that so perfectly represents why the Times is mystified by the subject matter at hand.
The Times spends a good portion of the piece paining to rationalize how it is that Hunter could be admired for being the “less accomplished of the Biden sons,” apparently not satirically.
It muses about how people find him “hot,” (how could they?!) deciding the “bad boy aspect of Mr. Biden’s fan culture is clear enough.” It grapples with how he relates to “versions of masculinity,” articulated by the right and left, respectively — “an avatar for the radical acceptance of the downward trajectory of American men.” It even explores how he personifies “the biblical story of the prodigal son.”
Impossible for the Columbia-educated author to imagine in this amazing self-own, that maybe we actually admire Hunter for owning and making a niche of his absolute degeneracy (cashing in on it, too, in the case of his book that no one read but that he made a killing on anyway), and dismissing the haters.
And it is worth noting that this is not the first time the Times has been trolled by this young king.
As Marlow also cites in his book, which he correctly notes is “genius,” Hunter had the Times‘ help in launching his art “career” in 2020.
Before he began fetching six-figure sums for his passion project, Hunter was featured in a Times story headlined “There’s a New Artist in Town. The Name is Biden.” The Times showcases Hunter’s art, complete with photographs of him blowing through a pipe … of paint … you know, to make the paintings.
“His process with alcohol ink—it can take 14 layers for the material to adhere—includes blowing it with a metal straw,” the piece describes, completely missing the joke.
Obviously, Hunter has done a lot of things wrong, and a lot of bad things. He participated in what is one of the most prolific corruption scandals in American history, abused the political system, and perhaps most offensive, abandoned his daughter.
But, as with every person, Hunter is multi-dimensional, struggles with a lot, has a lot of demons, and just makes the best of it, in what has become pretty much iconic form.
Hunter Biden, the smartest guy we know.
Emma-Jo Morris is the Politics Editor at Breitbart News. Email her at firstname.lastname@example.org or follow her on Twitter.