AP Photo/Manuel Balce Ceneta

Story of Cocaine at the White House Takes a Sudden Turn, Left-Wingers Float Insane Theory in Response

As RedState reported, a baggie of cocaine was found at the White House on Sunday, leading to an evacuation of the grounds for fear it was something more dangerous.

Even while streets were still shut down, the spin began posthaste. Most media outlets initially took the line that the baggie was found “near” the White House. Multiple reporters also described the substance as “cocaine hydrochloride,” suggesting it was the equivalent of a local anesthetic nasal spray used by (very few) dentists.

The messaging strategy was obvious. The administration and its compliant press allies wanted everything to think this substance was medical-grade and that did not originate from anyone inside the White House. Of course, “cocaine hydrochloride” does not exist in powdered form as an anesthetic, and no medical version of the drug comes in a bag. In other words, what was actually found here is just run-of-the-mill cocaine.

Now, we know where it was found. According to The Washington Post and others, the baggie was located in the White House Library.

One of the first reactions I saw to that news was that the White House Library is part of the public tours that take place multiple days a week. Surely, that means some random tourist left their baggie of cocaine laying around after somehow getting it past Secret Service. A quick look at the tour website, though, shows that theory doesn’t really wash.

For starters, the last tour happened at 12:30 PM on Saturday. The cocaine was found Sunday afternoon. Are we to believe it just sat there on a table or similar, unnoticed by the cleaning crews and security sweeps for over 24 hours? That seems highly unlikely. Further, the current White House tour does not actually include entering the library. Rather, you look at the library through a hallway door before going up the stairs to the left of the room. Am I to believe a tourist high-heated a baggie of cocaine into a secret hiding spot in the library somehow while not actually entering it? Again, that seems highly unlikely.

There is one logical explanation, though. Joe Biden’s son, Hunter Biden, is a notorious drug addict who was made infamous for filming himself doing crack and coke. So let’s do the math. The Secret Service found a baggie of cocaine hidden inside the White House in a place normal people can’t go. Hunter Biden lives at the White House and reportedly uses the library often.

It’s a mystery that may never be solved.

Of course, leave it to the far left to come up with the most insane explanation. Apparently, we are all to believe that the cocaine found actually belongs to…Donald Trump Jr.

You see, the cocaine couldn’t possibly belong to the proven drug addict who currently resides at the White House. It makes much more sense that it belongs to a man who hasn’t entered the building in two and a half years and who has never been evidenced to be an addict. Isn’t the left just brilliant?

Never mind that the Bidens spent half a million dollars cleaning the White House after the Trumps left. I’m sure they just missed that baggie of cocaine in the library, though. Makes sense.

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